OK. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I've been used and lied to.
I was married to a woman named Leah Rainey. I refuse to tie her to my last name. We're divorced, and even though I tried to maintain a friendship - supposedly one she wanted - she's killed that very effectively.
As far as I'm concerned, the woman I fell in love with and married, died in 2001. The woman I stayed with for all the years after was someone else entirely, someone I tried desperately to help and love, and got shit on in return.
She told me she'd had a second pregnancy and miscarriage. To someone who wanted kids for so long, why would she keep that a secret? Why didn't she act anywhere near as upset at *any* time - or, for that matter, even end up in the hospital at any point around the time she "miscarried?" I don't know *why* she'd say that. I don't KNOW. But it was complete bullshit. That's all I can think. And it makes me doubt the *first* pregnancy, too...
She told me we'd divorce, so I could get my life back on track, yet she wanted me around, she wanted the marriage without the paperwork that screwed us both up - yet when I got down there, she said not one friendly word (unless someone else, besides her mother, was around.) It took all of ONE day of that treatment - which I'd done nothing to deserve, unless you count actually *caring* and finally being talked into divorce by her - to pull off my wedding ring, the item I prized so highly because of what it symbolized. I haven't missed it since. We got divorced maybe a week later.
The entire time I was there, I couldn't walk by without being glared at or put down, lied to and accused of things ("You did my scrath-offs!" What? I don't even *like* the damn things, think she wastes her money on them - her limited income, something ELSE she bitches about, yet spends so much on the f'ing lottery... why would I touch them?)
The kicker, of course, was being accused of causing her seizure. I think if her mother could, to keep her under her thumb, she would. Hell, I think if Leah could trigger them herself, she would. And of course, I got kicked out of the house with *two hours* warning. Two days before unemployment (since I was looking for work - of course, I could only go *out* while they were there, since I had no key to the house) showed up. I slept in my truck for three nights, went to the library to communicate with my family, finally managed to drive cross country to try to start over, a complete wreck if it weren't for my friends. Kay, Robert, thank you.
Yet, for some reason, I *still* said I'd listen to her, be a friend...
Yeah. I'm a sap. So she calls, oh, a week ago, demanding money, saying she gave me the truck insisting I'd pay for it (no, you didn't,) that she did it because she couldn't afford the insurance, which was also why she gave up driving (no, she did that after she scraped a street sign, and gave up the truck for good when I moved to Salem,) and started demanding money.
Well, sap no more. I sent her money before to help - $20 or $40, though she said she couldn't get it... uh huh. No fucking more. Never mind that when she started demanding a few thousand for the truck (basic Ranger, value of maybe $500) she knew damn well I wasn't working.
I know this was brought on by her mom, too, as she'd been having to "hide" calling me until her mom was outside, or visiting her sister (who she also bitched about - "She doesn't care about me, it's all Tasha, Tasha, Tasha, gives Tasha everything....") yet caves and bugs me for money I don't have for reasons she's made up, probably because her mom no longer gets an income from taking care of her.
Gee, wonder where she learned about using people.
What are some of the things I doubt? Her pregnancies and miscarriages. Her friends "not being allowed" to call her (yeah... I heard the complaints, they don't want to talk to you any more because you just BITCH and ramble. By the way, they complain about your mom too.) Her "suicide attempt" was a sham, but I took her to the hospital anyway because, quite frankly, she *is* disturbed. (She made a weak attempt at grabbing for a bottle of hobby paint a few years ago. She should have been committed then.) I doubt she was faithful to me. How many times did you strip for "modeling?"
She's a drama queen and attention hound. She HAS to be the center of attention and wants people to take care of her - but won't take care of herself, just bitch. Her day consists of eating breakfast, sitting on her ASS and watching MASH and game shows, being fed since, and taking a shower MAYBE once a week. She doesn't get up except to go to the bathroom (and even then keeps a diaper on... more "attention," wanting to play as disabled and pitiful as possible.) She can't walk, supposedly, even through a store, usign the scooters at walmart... well, guess what, by now her legs have atrophied to the point she probably couldn't if she WANTED to. She's scrawny and *nasty,* quite frankly. The reason I'd shower with her is, hey, she was finally getting CLEAN. Guess what, CLEAN woman is more of a turn on than greasy-haired, nasty-skinned and bad-smelling, which she'd get BACK to being very shortly. I wish I were kidding about the once a week. Maybe that's part of why the *lack* of sex (though plenty of promises, teases, and come-ons) stopped bothering me. She WAS attractive when she took care of herself... years ago.
Meanwhile, she tells me I owe her. Bullshit, leah. I lost the best job I ever had (with awesome stock options, nice pay - 28k after a few months there? Damn straight! - stable, an atmosphere that would allow you to work on a problem reasonably, tuition reimbursement... I owe HER? Hell, I've put more into the truck than it's worth. I lost my career taking care of her. I lost the years of my life I could have kept up with kids. I won't have a family of my own at this point - hell, I don't think I want to get *married* again, much less hook up with someone other than casually or as a friend. I'm doing contract work... hardly something to retire on. She's cost me the future I had. Hell, even little vanity things like the 50th anniversary 'vette I was starting to save for... instead, I *STILL* have a tax bill from when taking care of her cost me my job and we had to live off of my stock. She's cost me health and happiness. She's cost me being able to go *back* to see my dad when he died. She cost me a relationship with my family, because I dropped everything and drove through a nasty, nasty winter storm cross country because she'd had seizures... and I, as a dutiful husband, had to be there for my partner... had I known, I would have divorced her in 2001. She's cost me irreplacable items from my past. And yes, she's cost me money for things she HAD to have, then ignored after never looking at.
Yes, some of the above is opinion. Some is just ANGER at what she's done and become. But I had to say it.
Leah, when I said "Goodbye" with that last phone call, when you were trying ot pressure me about money, I didn't mean just for that phone call. I'm working on purging you and your taint from my life. I was willing to still be there for you, be a friend. Well, your little stunt was it, the end. That goodbye was for you, forever. I never want to see, hear, read from or think of you.
What a waste of my life you were.
